Internal Family Systems (IFS)- informed EMDR therapy
“There are no bad parts.”
-Richard Schwartz, No Bad Parts
Have you ever felt that different parts of you seem to want different things? Perhaps one part of you wants to slow down and rest, while another tells you that you need to keep going. You may want to feel close to someone, but at the same time find yourself wanting to withdraw when you feel vulnerable. You may understand that you are safe, but still notice a part of you feeling anxious, guarded or on high alert.
These experiences can sometimes feel confusing. We may wonder why we react in ways that we know, rationally, we do not want to react. Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, also known as parts work, offers a compassionate way of understanding these different experiences within ourselves.
Rather than seeing these different thoughts, feelings and reactions as something that is wrong with us, IFS understands them as different parts of our internal system. These parts can develop different roles and ways of responding, often in response to our experiences and relationships.
The Internal Family Systems model
A central idea within IFS is that we all have different parts, and that these parts have different roles within our internal system. The model also describes a core Self. Self is not considered another part, but the part of us that can be calm, curious, compassionate, confident, clear, courageous, creative and connected. These qualities are often referred to within IFS as the 8 Cs of Self. When we are connected to Self, we are better able to approach our internal experiences with curiosity rather than judgement and compassion rather than criticism.
IFS describes three broad groups of parts: Exiles and Protectors. Protectors are divided into Managers and Firefighters.
Exiles
Exiles are the vulnerable parts of us that may carry painful emotions, memories, beliefs and unmet needs from earlier experiences. They may hold feelings such as fear, shame, sadness, loneliness or helplessness. They are called Exiles because other parts of our system may try to keep these vulnerable feelings away from our everyday awareness.
For someone who has experienced difficult or traumatic experiences during childhood, for example, an Exile may carry the feelings of the younger person who felt frightened, rejected, alone or not good enough.
Protectors: Managers and Firefighters
The other parts in the IFS model are Protectors. Their role is to protect the more vulnerable Exiles and to prevent us from becoming overwhelmed by the feelings they carry. There are two main types of Protectors: Managers and Firefighters.
Managers are proactive. They try to keep things under control and prevent painful emotions from being triggered in the first place.
A Manager might show up as perfectionism, people-pleasing, overthinking, self-criticism, controlling situations, staying busy or constantly monitoring other people’s reactions. For example, someone who learned early in life that they needed to be very good, helpful or attuned to other people in order to feel safe may develop a strong Manager that continues to strive, achieve or take care of others in adulthood.
Firefighters are more reactive. They step in when difficult emotions have already been activated and try to put them out as quickly as possible. Different people will have different Firefighter responses. These may include withdrawing, shutting down, distracting ourselves, dissociating or turning to behaviours that help us escape or numb difficult feelings.
Although Managers and Firefighters can sometimes create difficulties in our lives, IFS does not regard them as bad parts. They are trying to protect us, often using strategies that made sense at an earlier point in our lives. The problem is not that these parts exist. It is that they may continue to operate as though the original danger is still present.
Why do we develop these parts?
Our parts can develop in response to our experiences, particularly experiences that were difficult, overwhelming or occurred within important relationships. A child who grows up with criticism may develop a part that constantly monitors their behaviour and tells them they need to do better. A child who experiences unpredictable caregiving may develop a part that becomes very good at noticing changes in other people’s moods.
These responses may have helped the child manage their environment and maintain relationships at the time. As adults, however, these same protective strategies can sometimes continue even when the circumstances have changed. This is one reason why we can understand something intellectually but still find ourselves reacting in the same way.
What happens in IFS therapy?
IFS is not simply about giving different emotions or behaviours a name. The therapy involves developing a relationship with our parts and becoming curious about what they are trying to do for us. For example, someone may recognise that they have a very critical part that is constantly telling them they are not good enough. Rather than trying to get rid of the critical part, we might become curious about it.
When did it first begin to feel that it needed to do this job?
What is it afraid might happen if it stopped criticising?
What is it trying to protect?
What does it need us to understand?
As we begin to approach a part with curiosity and compassion, it can become possible to understand the positive intention behind its behaviour. The aim is not to force a part to change or to get rid of it. It is about helping the part feel heard and understood and developing greater internal flexibility. Sometimes, as a person becomes more connected with their Self, protective parts can begin to trust that they no longer have to work quite so hard.
Who can benefit from IFS therapy?
Parts work can be helpful for people who feel that they understand their difficulties intellectually but continue to experience the same emotional reactions or patterns. You may experience anxiety, self-criticism or perfectionism, or find it difficult to set boundaries or prioritise your own needs. You may find yourself repeatedly putting other people’s needs before your own, even when you know that this leaves you feeling exhausted or resentful.
You may also experience an internal conflict where one part of you wants something, while another part seems to hold you back. For example, one part may want a close relationship while another is afraid of being hurt. One part may want to make changes while another is frightened about what might happen if things change.
IFS can be particularly relevant when these patterns are connected to trauma or attachment experiences.
Understanding where these responses came from can help us approach ourselves with more compassion and can create space for new ways of responding.
Watch this animated video to learn more about how IFS works
IFS and trauma
Parts work can be particularly helpful when working with trauma because different parts of us can hold very different responses to what has happened. One part may want to talk about the experience and move forward, while another may be frightened of what could happen if painful memories are accessed. A protective part may believe that staying in control is essential. Another may remain constantly alert to danger. Another part may carry the feelings of the younger person who experienced the original event.
IFS gives us a way of understanding these different responses without viewing them as something that needs to be overcome. Instead, we can become curious about the role each part has taken on and what it believes it is protecting us from. This can be particularly important when working with complex trauma and attachment trauma (read article here), where difficulties may have developed through repeated experiences rather than one isolated event.
What does the research say about IFS?
Research into IFS is growing, and early findings suggest that it may be helpful for a range of psychological and physical health difficulties, including trauma-related symptoms, depression and chronic pain. There is also emerging research looking specifically at the use of IFS with PTSD, with early findings suggesting potential benefits in areas such as trauma symptoms, self-compassion and emotion regulation.
However, compared with some longer-established psychological therapies, the research base for IFS is still relatively small. Further high-quality research is needed to understand more about its effectiveness and the difficulties for which it may be most helpful. It is important to view IFS as a promising and developing therapeutic approach, rather than suggesting that the research has already established it as an effective treatment for every difficulty.
Combining IFS with EMDR
IFS can also be integrated with Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR; read article here) when working with trauma. EMDR is a trauma-focused therapy that aims to help people process distressing experiences that continue to affect them in the present. When working with trauma, however, it is not unusual for different parts of a person to have very different feelings about processing a particular memory.
One part may desperately want to move forward, while another may be frightened about what might happen if the memory is accessed. A protective part may believe that staying vigilant is necessary for safety, while another may want to avoid thinking about the past altogether.
This is where an IFS-informed approach can be particularly helpful. Rather than trying to overcome or push past a protective part, we can become curious about its concerns. This can help create greater internal safety and cooperation before trauma processing takes place.
Attachment-informed EMDR and parts work
This can be particularly relevant when working with attachment trauma (read article here). Our early relationships can have a significant influence on how we experience ourselves, other people and relationships later in life. If a child learns that their needs may not be met, that affection can be unpredictable, or that expressing emotions can lead to criticism or rejection, different parts may develop to help them manage these experiences. As an adult, someone may know that their partner is trustworthy but still have a part that expects to be abandoned. They may want to ask for help but have a part that believes they should manage everything themselves. They may find themselves constantly monitoring another person’s mood because, earlier in life, being able to anticipate a caregiver’s reactions helped them feel safer. These reactions can make sense when we understand them in the context of the person’s history.
Attachment-informed EMDR (read article here) takes these early relational experiences into account when considering what needs to be processed. Integrating parts work can provide another way of understanding the different responses that may emerge during this process. For example, if a protective part becomes activated during EMDR, rather than viewing this as something that is getting in the way of the therapy, we can become curious about what the part is concerned about and what it needs. This can allow the therapy to remain flexible and responsive to the person’s internal experience.
How IFS and EMDR can complement each other
IFS and EMDR are different therapeutic approaches, but there are areas where they can complement each other when working with trauma. IFS can help us understand the different parts and protective responses that have developed around difficult experiences, while EMDR can help to process the memories, beliefs, emotions and body sensations associated with those experiences.
An IFS-informed approach can be particularly helpful during EMDR when a protective part becomes concerned about the processing. Rather than trying to persuade the part to move out of the way, the therapist can help the client listen to it, understand its concerns and establish a sense of safety.
A compassionate way of understanding ourselves
Parts work can change the way we understand our own reactions. Instead of seeing anxiety, avoidance, perfectionism, people-pleasing or self-criticism simply as things that need to be stopped, we can become curious about what they may be trying to communicate. Sometimes a response that causes difficulties in our lives today developed because, at an earlier point in our lives, it served an important purpose. Understanding this does not mean that we must remain stuck in the same patterns. It can instead give us the opportunity to develop new ways of responding.
IFS encourages us to approach ourselves with curiosity rather than judgement, and with compassion rather than criticism. For people who have experienced trauma or difficulties within important attachment relationships, this can be a particularly meaningful part of therapy. We don’t necessarily need to get rid of the parts of ourselves that we struggle with. Sometimes, we first need to understand why they are there, what they have been trying to do for us, and whether they still need to carry the same role today.
